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A keen country lad
applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was
the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss
asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a
salesman in the country" said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of
him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come see you when we
close up."
The day was long and
arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss
duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make
today?"
"One said the young
salesman.
"Only one,"
blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a
day." How much was the sale worth? "
"Three hundred
thousand dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage
that?" Asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said
the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook,
then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a
small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where
he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would
probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold
him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his
Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to
pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the
new Deluxe Cruiser."
The boss took two steps
back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who
came in for a fish hook?"
"No" answered
the salesman, "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and
I said to him, "Your weekend is spoiled, you may as well go
fishing."
--OFFICE
HAPPENINGS--
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Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to
continue having these meetings,
everyday, until I find out why no work is getting
done".
-
Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your
fault. I said I was going to blame
it on you."
-
A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue
until morale improves.
-
A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot
of good people to get the ones we
hired."
-
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because
it's unfamiliar territory.
-
My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass
ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.
-
My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth
would be buffered from surprise
spikes in his brain.
-
I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for
myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too ... but at least I respect him.
-
Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a
task force he created to find
a solution: " I'm sorry if I ever gave you the
impression your input would have any
effect on my decision for the outcome of this
project!"
-
HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no
sales or computer training. Although that
qualifies you for our upper management, it means you're
under-qualified for our entry
level positions."
You can read the past issues at: http://www.topica.com/lists/motiv8/read
Marketing Definitions:
People have asked for me an explanation of Marketing.
Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
- You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Direct Marketing.
- You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you
says, "She's fantastic in bed." --That's Advertising.
- You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and get his telephone number. The next day you call and
say,"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Telemarketing.
- You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get
up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a
drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his
tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say,
"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." --That's Public
Relations.
- You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks
up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." --
That's Brand Recognition.
- You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk
him into going home with your friend. -- That's a Sales Rep.
- Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. --
That's Technical Support.
- You're on your way to a party when you realize that
there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So
you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout
at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" --
That's Spam
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